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Mar 22, 2022
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It's late here and I want you to know I am listening to you.

I will sit with what you say, but maybe ramble a bit first... and then sleep.

I would be happy to think that all of this is a delusion.

And often I feel that what my experience in the moment is, is more real than anything else. Or just as real...

Feeling the warmth of the sun on my face. Watching dried leaves lifting and swirling on a breeze.

Creating with my hands, dancing, singing. Playing with words.

I wonder if all emotions are love, expressions from within us of care for self.

Energy moving through, much like a river flowing. Getting caught here and there and then rushing forward.

Or simply vibration of the water within us.

But why does there need to be a consensus for something to be.

Something does not need to be understood to be.

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Mar 22, 2022
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I wonder if you would read this.

https://francesleader.substack.com/p/origins-of-total-surveillance?

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Which led me to this: https://francesleader.substack.com/cp/129038137

I'm a bit behind on my reading, but I will have to put this to the front. It appears to be classic. Thank you. (I think.)

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Hey Doug - I haven't read that one, kind of played out. She can be snarly, so go slow. She's got a lot of good work there about radiation, black nobility... A sweet piece on water if you go back. (don't put her on the defensive, she'll bite back, but she has a good heart and loves questions and likely will point you in a good direction)

If you're new to all this, take your time. It can all be a bit jarring. I telly myself I don't need to believe or disbelieve or go places I'm not ready to, or places I've read too much about. There's some really fringey stuff out there too, some is fascinating, some beyond dispiriting....)

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No problem at all. To clarify: the idiot's guide I found on her site looks great. It looks like perfect satire. So good, I wanted to thank the lady who led me to it (although I'll read it later--maybe, as I have tens of thousands of pages of saved articles).

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Yeah I saw, just never read it.

You're welcome!

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Mar 22, 2022
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You're welcome.

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And now it's too early!

I will bookmark your words and refer to them when I have room for more words.

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Mar 22, 2022
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My knowledge base is experiential. And I am just a wee bit on overwhelm.

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Mar 22, 2022
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I don't read a lot or dive down every hole.

But I have come across some very disturbing pieces recently.

Very hard to hold.

I am happy for the sun just now, it anchors me. And writing brings me back up.

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https://pbockenthien.substack.com/p/transactional-beliefs-part-1

I wonder if you would like this? He struggles with his writing a bit but I loved what he had to say and noticed another post that might speak to this piece about struggling against.

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Mar 23, 2022
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"The primary trigger is and always has been ‘be morally pure as possible’. Being morally virtuous in order to receive God’s blessings is conditional love. It renders God as transactional in nature: If I do this, God will do that."

I seem to be surrounded by people who are religious, including an Amish community.

I ask people about their beliefs very forthright.

But what I find, in these very bright beautiful people is arrogance, a kind of certainty.

It disturbs me and has been of a cost to me.

Although I seem to be very resilient which endlessly surprises me.

Thank you for reading Peter's piece!

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Mar 23, 2022
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I wonder about it being a part of the psychological warfare operation too.

Little ants we are, scurrying around.

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